Hi, there. My name is Tara. I'm 28 years old. This is my first post- though I've been a member for a few months. The following is my history- I apologize in advance for the lengthiness- but I believe it helps since each individual's experience can be so different when it comes to these things...

I was diagnosed with Crohn's in May of 2004. I was going through a particularly stressful time in my life. I was working at a performing arts college in L.A. (the same one I graduated from) as the head seamstress, and it was our yearly graduation festival where we put on about 12 shows in 2 weeks. The deadlines were ridiculous and I would be up sewing into the night and sometimes getting no sleep at all. I would just push and push and push back then, unaware of what I was doing to my body. On top of this I was driving back and forth from L.A. to the Bay Area where I grew up because my beloved Grandmother (my soul mate) was dying of Alzheimer's and did pass away in June. I was also constantly worried about my mum who had recently had a bout of breast cancer and was taking care of my Grandma at the time. It's not surprising looking back how the stress manifested in my body.
At this point I was a healthy pooper. I would usually go every day because ironically, I had started eating much healthier in the past two years. I was simply uneducated before about nutrition and the more I learned the better I ate and tried to incorporate daily exercise into my life. The majority of my modest paycheck would end up being spent at Whole Foods! I felt great and strong. I even started making myself drink milk which I thought I had always hated as a child because my mum hated it and didn't make me drink it because HER mum hated it! I thought it would strengthen my bones because of the calcium and all of those milk ads said it did a body good so I acquired a taste for it. AND i chose skim milk because I was trying to slim down a little. (I now highly suspect that this may have been ONE of the contributing factors to my gastrointestinal problems.)
So stress, stress, stress, push, push, push- my daily bowel movement started turning to more and more and then just frequent diarrhea. I would be doing crunches in my living room and have to stop mid workout and run to the bathroom. I thought it would clear up when things slowed down but it didn't and when I started noticing blood and tissue I became more concerned and told my mum. We made an appointment and they did stool samples and gave me a sigmoidoscopy. (What fun!) The doctor said it looked very much like Crohn's. I'd never even heard of it. He then prescribed Asacol (I think 9-12/day at that time) and after a couple of weeks the diarrhea stopped and I was back on track. He also did a follow-up colonoscopy "to confirm" his findings. After responding so quickly to the Asacol, I was blissfully unaware at what I was dealing with.
I continued to take the Asacol as prescribed for several months when around December 2004, I began with the diarrhea again accompanied by nausea every day. My mum suggested that perhaps it was a side effect of the medicine so I went off of it for a while and lo and behold- it stopped. My doctor was uncomfortable about me not being on a "maintenance drug" so I tried taking it again and- diarrhea and nausea. I told him about this and he was baffled and said he'd never heard of such a thing. He said he doubted it was the Asacol giving me this reaction. I'm the type of person who doesn't even like to take ibuprofen for a headache unless absolutely necessary for relief so against his suggestion I stopped taking the Asacol again and was perfectly healthy for several months. (By the way, fast forward to 3 years later, he tells me that several other patients have reported the same thing with Asacol!)
So, in April 2005 the yearly play festival rolled around and once again, work became very stressful. I had a new tough boss that I was eager to please. I also had a brand new puppy that I loved but demanded so much attention that it bit me in the butt. (The stress- not the dog! haha) Before I knew it is was the same pattern of diarrhea, nausea, bleeding, fever, etc. My mum took a week off work to come down and take care of me and when I was no better and delirious from fever and dehydration, we went to emergency. I spent the first week of May 2005 in hospital hooked up to an IV that was dripping Solumedrol (IV Prednisone) before I even knew what it was. I was being treated by a different doctor since I was diagnosed in Northern California, but lived in Southern California. This was my first flare in Southern California so the new doctor again wanted me on a "maintenance drug" but I refused since I knew that they didn't agree with me and the prednisone seemed to already have taken care of the problem. (I was so new at this!)
I was on the prednisone for an eternity it seemed- 5 torturous months of feeling like an absolute crazy person. Mood swings, insomnia, severe depression, nausea, moon face, AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE. I had no idea that when they gave it to me in hospital that it was not a drug you could just stop. I cried when my doctor told me about the "taper process" and how long I would have to feel like this. And the longer it went on, the worse the symptoms got because my body was so physically dependent on it. It's hard for people to understand what it feels like if you've never taken it- I felt like a drug addict- my skin would literally crawl- I would be full of anger when normally I'm a very peaceful person. A friend of mine described it as feeling "like a turtle with no shell" and I that's a good description. So when I FINALLY took my last dose of the stuff I SWORE I would never take it again unless I was dying or something. I ABHOR the drug. I did however, get better and get on with my life for a while.
I spent a whole year in complete remission, from October 2005- October 2006. I had received some powerful prayer and truly believed that I was indeed healed. The year however did bring stressful events. My mum got cancer a second time and underwent a double mastectomy. I also went through some major life changes and after being in L.A. for six years to pursue my acting career I got burned out and decided it was time to take a break and come home to pursue a business opportunity with my cousins' opening of a new store. In hindsight, coming home is the best thing I did because when I moved home in October of 2006 it was not long before the stress of opening the store and life in general caught up with me and the pattern of diarrhea, fever, bleeding, etc., started again. By December my mum and I went emergency to get hydrated and I refused any drugs because at this time I was reading Jordan Rubin's book, "The Maker's Diet" and started taking the supplements including the "Primal Defense." This was my first experience with probiotics and I noticed a difference at first but the diet itself was too strict for me- eliminating grains for the first phase just made my body feel crazy off. I have always been the type that feels better when I eat quality carbohydrates and the restriction of even whole grains was too much for me. I would just be miserable, feel even worse, and couldn't stick to it. I have since read about his questionable credibility and was disappointed about the deception. Although I still value his book for the maintenance diet he suggests and it's biblical basis in approach to eating, I no longer consume any of his products.
I had read about another probiotic, Culturelle and started taking it and actually noticed an improvement, despite the fact that knowing what I know now, this couldn't have been of very high quality at all.
I "recovered" from this flare after Christmas but was still very careful about what I ate and on the defense because I sensed that things were not really well.
One reason being that since October, my skin had become really flaky, scaly, and patchy in places whereas I have never had any skin problems. No matter how much moisturizer I used this flakiness around my eyes, mouth, and the front of my scalp would NOT go away. I thought maybe it was the change in weather but it didn't go away. I had problems applying makeup over it and finally I went to the dermo. Of course they wanted me to put all of these crappy corticosteriods on it, and wash my skin with soaps full of parabens and chemicals, like Dove or Cetaphyl. I was so frustrated with their, "solutions" and my regular doctor suggested that it might be sebhorreic (sp?) dermatitis which ironically, is also and immune system related condition. After reading about it, I have come to believe that this may be what it is indeed. I also noticed that it coincided with my mini-flares.
On a side note, auto-immune diseases seem to be very prevalent on my mum's side of the family: my grandpa had myasthenia gravis, several of my aunts/cousins have vidaligo, my mum has/had lupus when I was younger, and most who have been tested (including myself) have a positive/high ANA count which is an indication of an auto-immune problem. I also have suffered from severe asthma and allergies since childhood.
So getting back to the Crohn's progression, I was seemingly okay with moderation in diet but by March I started getting ill again and this continually became worse and worse until the end of April when I was just obliterated. Bathroom trips 18-20 times a day, extreme pain, couldn't eat anything, lost weight, bleeding, fever, etc. I just kept hoping that if I just rested and waited, it would have to turn around. My body was also adapting to being ill so it was hard for me to know how truly bad off I was. I was terrified to call the doc because I knew he would prescribe prednisone and I swore I would never do that again.
Finally at the end of April, I agreed to a CATscan because I was having a particular pain that I thought might be an ulcer. The scan showed no ulcer but still inflammation in the lower colon. The doc suggested again a maintenance drug- Entocort which he assured me was a milder steroid with little side effects. Because I was so bad off I agreed to try it but the drug didn't even touch it. I was still in the bathroom the same amount of times and feeling horrible. I couldn't go anywhere and just stayed on the couch every day hoping and praying to get better. It was a month before I called the doc again out of desperation. I agreed to a blood test which showed that I was extremely anemic from the bleeding. I was at an 8 (borderline for a transfusion) and the doctor urged me to please come into emergency. After a day or so of crying and screaming I finally agreed to go and at least get hydrated. When I got there, they allowed me to refuse the transfusion but suggested I stay admitted for fluids and another course of prednisone under the condition that it would be a short course of two months. At a complete loss of options at that time, I agreed and spent the first week of June 2007 in hospital.
Again, I responded well to the drugs and the doctor kept his promise to not keep me on it longer than needed.
Well, I completed the course with very little side effects this time (I had oodles of people praying for me) and by July I felt pretty good, although my poops still didn't seem to look quite "normal".
Unfortunately, the end of my taper coincided with a busy week of house guests which had been planned months in advance. It was not a surprise that I began to get sick again, even as my guests were still at the house. A couple of weeks later I began to get worse and one night sitting with my cousin, feeling particularly lousy I remember saying, "I think I have a fever" and after that point I spiraled downward into the worst hell I've ever had with the disease. I spent the first weeks of September 2007 completely delirious with high fevers that very seldom broke, 18-20 bathroom trips a day, extreme bleeding, blah, blah, blah. By this time I had discovered and quickly ordered Jini's book and was desperately taking the probiotics, Mucosa Heal, Aloe Vera Juice and had ordered the shakes. I was sick, sick, sick, holding on until my shakes arrived. They finally did, and my mum whipped one up. I was not thrilled about this elemental diet but I truly believed it would help so I sat there and sipped it slowly praying for it to work.
Once I finally got it down, I promptly ran to the bathroom and threw the whole thing up. I tried the broths, and bravely kept trying the shakes (we tried cutting them in half/ no oil/ etc. but I was SO sick I just kept throwing them up. After a few days of this I was literally starving to death at 108 pounds. (I had lost 12 pounds in about 2 weeks.) We kept doing the healing enemas to try and stop the severe bleeding but every time I did them I would end up with an even higher fever for some reason and spent the night in chills. One night it got so bad I ended up in full convulsions and my mum had to hold me down. We weren't sure wether to call an ambulance or what because we couldn't even make it to emergency I was so bad off. She held me down and we prayed and prayed and finally the convulsions subsided.
The next day I remember sitting in the bathroom, the worst I've EVER felt in my life and thinking, "I REALLY am dying." And I was just at that point. I came out and told my parents I was ready to take the prednisone again as my doctor had been suggesting. He also wanted me to start taking 6-MP as a "maintenance drug" because this was possibly the reason I relapsed so quick in the first place.
Please understand this was was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I wanted nothing more than to do this thing completely naturally, in a way that was kind to by body. I truly believe that the gut needs to HEAL and am angry at the majority of the medical profession for being mindless robots that just prescribe medicines full of harmful chemicals that NEVER heal, they just SUPPRESS SYMPTOMS. On top of this, I'm the type of person who tries live a healthy lifestyle and doesn't like anything unnatural in my body. But at this point I felt I was too far gone for the natural healing products to help me and it was either take the allopathic medicine or die. It was the right decision at the time- it was getting too dangerous.
I started both drugs the next day and went to emergency again to get hydrated. My plan was to use the drugs to get me stable again, and continue to do the healing protocols even thought I knew their effectiveness would be hindered by the potency of the prescription drugs. Unfortunately, right in the middle of all this my doctor informed that he was leaving Kaiser and that he would assign me a new doctor. This new doctor was assigned to me and although I have nothing against her personally, she had VERY little experience and was very wishy washy when I would ask her about anything, and very skeptical that I continued to insist on doing Jini's healing protocols along with the prescription meds- even when I told her they were helping!
The diarrhea slowed down but I continued to bleed and bleed, at one point my hemoglobin dropped to 7 and they wanted a transfusion, again I refused, and instead I kept doing the enemas and suppositories. All the new doctor kept suggesting was Remicade- and I was like, "Look, lady- I'm only 28. I can't even begin to tell you all the reasons I don't want anything to do with it but if you start giving me that now, what does that say for the rest of my LIFE?" They just don't get it and won't even think creatively with you for other solutions!
Instead of putting me in the hospital she did agree to let me go to the infusion clinic and get daily IV infusions of prednisone and fluids for a couple weeks which really helped stabilize me and gave me relief but the bleeding continued to allude me.
I decided to try the IBD Remission diet again since I was feeling a little better and I was pleased to be able to now tolerate the shakes. My body just rejected them before because I was so sick, but now I seemed to get them down, with just a little hint of nausea sometimes. I knew it would be very difficult for me because I do not do well with no "food" and always feel better when I eat but I wanted to try again because I knew it would rest my gut. I told myself to just try it for at least 3 days. I know that you can't get a lot of healing from this but it definitely couldn't hurt and would give my gut a little reprieve. I did it for 3 days and then said okay, let's go for 5. And then I said, okay, a week. I slowly worked up and up and was able to do it for 12 days! I know that is not 6 weeks but it was the best I could do at that point and I think it did help because eventually after about a month the bleeding subsided.
I finally had it with the doctor and requested to see a new one. Unfortunately you have to be completely re-evaluated by a new doctor and it took me over a month to see one. I asked for the person with the most experience in the department and someone who was open to many methods of treatment. Mid-November of 2007 I had my first appointment with my new doc and I LOVE HER! She is very practical, she listens to me, and is very creative at giving me many options for treatment. She is the first doctor EVER to even mention the benefits of Probiotics! She is still quite Western Medicine in her thinking, but she is respectful of my wishes and tries to work with me to find a happy medium. She has over 20 years
experience and I trust her so much more than the others.

So FINALLY, that brings us to the present. I have been sick with this flare for over a YEAR now. A complete rollercoaster. I am reluctantly taking the 6MP for fear of a relapse when I am done as has happened time and time again. My doc has me on a very slow taper of the prednisone which is excruciating. I am having even worse symptoms than my first bout of the prednisone and it is literally making me crazy. I've followed her suggestion for a slow taper because she said it has been her experience that when people relapse right after coming off the prednisone, it usually means the taper was too fast before. And after the year I've had I didn't go on it again just to get sick at the end once more. I know I could still get sick anyway but since I've been on this course for so long already, I want to maximize my chances because I don't want to keep going around the same mountain. At lease I'll know I gave it the best possible shot, and have the experience to say it didn't work (if it doesn't), if they ever try to put me on it again.
But my emotions are everywhere, I cry everyday, I'm angry inside, I want to throw things, (again, I'm normally a quite loving, peaceful person.) My face has swelled to the "moon face" again to where I'm embarrassed to see anyone. I've had severe insomnia for the last few months which is a vicious circle because I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep, so I get more exhausted, grumpy and feel sick. I try to go to bed by 10 and get my rest but I lay there until 2, sometimes 3 in the morning. I've tried aromatherapy for sleep. I do have Restoril (sleeping pills) but I do not like to take those unless absolutely necessary- plus they wipe out the dose of probiotics I take religiously at bedtime.
My diarrhea is under control but I notice with the taper (I'm at 10 mg) that my stools are softening again. My doc wants to add corticosteroid suppositories or enemas for added support as we get to the end of this taper.
I just don't know what to do. I feel exhausted emotionally and physically; I'm very lonely, scared, frustrated, and frankly SICK of being SICK. I'm 28- I want to LIVE my life and I'm just stuck here not able to do ANYTHING. I try to keep a positive attitude, and look for the good things, and find peace through it all but honestly sometimes I just want to SCREAM because I'm SOOOOOO over it. I'm trying to learn every lesson from this- and i have learned many: I've learned to take better care of myself, to listen to my body's signals, to respond to setbacks in a positive manner, to change my thoughts to positive ones. I have learned to say, "no", I have learned perspective, I have learned what's important, and I have learned to be thankful in every situation. But I have reached a point- and I have a feeling the withdrawal from the steroids is the catalyst in all this- where I am just beside myself at what to do now. I KNOW I am not healing- one of the clues is that my skin problem has been back for a few months now, and I just feel generally lousy. I've also been getting these little heart flutters for the last month or so which I think is a side effect from the prednisone.
My poops are not "normal" looking and I am trying not to be fearful but if I'm honest- I am fearful for what's around the corner when I hit the end of the prednisone which I cannot wait for- but am also frightened of. I'm sick of living my life around supplements, and medicines. I'm sick of the hospitals, doctors, needles, poking, prodding. I'm a slave to my alarm that goes off constantly telling me when to take something, when to eat, when I can't eat, when to sleep, blah, blah, blah. I'm even sick of mixing the probiotics in the water, and the Mucosa Heal capsules in the apple juice. I'm even sick of measuring the Aloe Vera juice into the glass!
I know that healing is a process but there are days like these where I just lose it. I know I'm whining but there's just no one who truly understands and I know that many of you do- and sadly, have been much worse off than I am.
Something needs to change because I don't seem to be truly healing and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Here is my current regimen:

-6:43am- I set alarm to wake up to take my Natren probiotics. I take the powder form of all three. 1 1/2 teaspoons of each in room temperature spring water.
-I usually go back to bed because I usually haven't slept much.
-8:53 I wake up again and take 10mg of prednisone. My doctor said to stay at this dose until I feel my body is ready to taper some more. I will then go by ones. 9mg, 8mg, etc. I am told that taking steroids before 9am is easier on your body for whatever reason.
-I usually still need more sleep because I'm so exhausted all the time. (Doc says exhaustion could also be a side effect of the 6MP). So I will sleep some more and the upon waking take, 1/4 - 1/2 cup Aloe Vera Juice directly followed by
-2 -3 capsules of Mucosa Heal opened and diluted in apple juice
-I wait 20 minutes, then eat. I usually take, 3 -4 Yummi Bears with my food to get some vitamins.
-After eating I wait 2 hours without any food.
-Aloe Vera and Mucosa Heal.
-Wait 20 minutes.
-Eat.
-Wait 2 hours. No food.
-Aloe Vera & Mucosa Heal.
-Wait 20 minutes.
-Eat Dinner. (4 more Yummi Bears)
-Take 6-MP
-Wait 2 hours. No food.
-Natren Probiotics (1 1/2 teaspoons of each in room temperature spring water.)
-Bedtime. 10pm-11pm. Lay in bed and stare at ceiling until 2am or so....

As far as diet- I have been trying to make healthy choices like, soups and healthy meats for protein. I've increased fiber a bit and tolerated it. I eat a lot of organic foods- including raw milk which I LOVE! I still have not gone back to whole grains in my pasta or bread because they are too much for my tummy but a little here and there has been okay. Everything in moderation. Any veggies are cooked, little fruit, no citrus yet. NO ALCOHOL, NO SODA, NO PORK for the past year. To be honest I don't really notice a huge difference with foods causing problems, unless I am already flaring badly. My problem has always been managing my stress which I am learning to do. I even ordered the EFT DVD's that everyone says can be so helpful.

My blood was checked in the middle of last month and my hemoglobin was up to 10 which is good, iron was low. Doc said I am still anemic because when there is inflammation in the body it is harder to make more blood but anemia is the least of my concerns.

If anyone has any suggestions for me to help the healing at this point I would greatly appreciate it. What should I do next? Am I missing something? I've considered doing the Oregano Oil and even have it here but I am frightened of exacerbating anything. But I do suspect the MAP bacteria since I was diagnosed with Crohn's shortly after incorporating the pasteurized milk into my diet. Maybe the IBD Diet again but I'm not sure I'm emotionally up for it ya know? I'm just WORN OUT. Whatever the solution, I will know I am on the right track when my skin clears up. It's a good indicator.
Also, any help with changes in my supplement schedule? I just need something more practical if possible. Maybe I don't need to wait that much in between but it says to take them on an empty stomach, and of course the probiotics need to be taken apart from herbs and food and prescription meds. Should I switch to the Healthy Trinity capsule so it makes things easier or are the powders better for healing? This schedule is taking over my life!

A huge thank you to any of you who actually read through the longest post in history. I should get an award! (Or maybe YOU should get an award!) Thank you for letting me rant and rave- it was the only thing I could think of to do while I sat here feeling so desperate today. I know I just need to embrace the process and enjoy living now. Circumstances don't need to change and probably won't until my attitude towards them does. But some days are just harder than others. Especially when you're on drugs.

Love to all- Sharing is important since there is so much to learn about this dis-ease. I hope we can all help each other achieve health. I believe we can! Thank you.

One Love,

Tara

Hi, Tara.

My heart goes out to you. I haven't experienced the months of prednisone as so many others have, so I don't have the personal experience there, but feeling like "a turtle without its shell" - I can imagine that.

I'm so glad you've found a doctor who really listens and is supportive and I can totally understand what you're saying about not being able to wait to get off the prednisone and at the same time being terrified about what may lie in store once you're off it. I've felt that, too, about other things in the course of being ill.

I think you would benefit from the Wild Oregano Protocol, but go very slowly. I think your doctors advice is good about the tapering process - really tuning in to your body - I'd approach the Wild Oregano Protocol the same way.

In the meantime, as long as you aren't having a lot of bowel movements, you might try the Healthy Trinity - at least you can have those with your meals. The probiotics species are encapsulated in their own oil bubbles and the bubble isn't broken down until it's exposed to bile, beyond the stomach. So the probiotics inside are never exposed to the gastric juices. That might make things a bit easier. (If you have any questions about how many bowel movements would be too many to make the Healthy Trinity workable, you might talk with the consultants at Natren for their take on it, as well.)

Whatever you do has to be workable for you. That's one reason why we can make suggestions but we can never tell someone else what to do. Jini had some pretty close calls - like yours - in her healing journey and for her, the right decision was to stay strictly off drugs. But that was her. There's an e-mail she sends out several weeks after people purchase Listen to Your Gut that includes a letter a mother wrote about her son's healing journey, which had a lot of ups and downs and sometimes drugs (Remicade, if I remember correctly, in that case). Jini said she liked that letter because it shows that sometimes people have to make compromises, but that's not the end of the road. You hated going back on the drugs (and I understand that!), but it doesn't mean the end and it's not something you have to justify to anybody. At the very, very least, you're still better off than someone on drugs who's using them to prop his or her body up to continue with an extremely hectic lifestyle, poor food choices, etc.

You've been really sick and I know how weak and tired constant diarrhea like that can make you. It's like a bad dream to me now, but I'll never really forget how I felt as I got sicker and weaker and sicker and weaker in the months leading up to my own diagnosis of Crohn's Disease. Know that it's going to take time; you just don't bounce back from that as fast as you'd like to - sometimes little kids bounce back really fast. So on a bedrock level, give yourself that time, if you can. Keep going back to that bedrock level, because you'll need to.

But in between, on one of those levels closer to the surface, you go ahead and rant and rave all that you need to. One of the other things I'll never forget about being ill like that was how lonely it made me feel - even right in my own family who loves me. They loved me but they couldn't really - not really - understand. And that's hard. Nothing can take the place of the kind of loving bonds we have with our families, but at least here, you know you can vent and there will be people who read it and *know* - bone-deep - just what you're saying.

Jini's away for the month, but when she returns in February, I'm also going to ask her to add her thoughts to your post. I know your story will touch her, as well.

With empathy from my heart,

Nicole

Dear Nicole,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time out of your day to write such a heartfelt, compassionate, and comforting reply to my post. You don't know how much it means to me.

It is so amazing to me how much it helps when someone says they understand and you just know deep down that they really do.

One of the other things I'll never forget about being ill like that was how lonely it made me feel - even right in my own family who loves me. They loved me but they couldn't really - not really - understand. And that's hard. Nothing can take the place of the kind of loving bonds we have with our families, but at least here, you know you can vent and there will be people who read it and *know* - bone-deep - just what you're saying.

You've described exactly the loneliness I've been feeling throughout this and I want to thank you for validating me.

You also understood completely my situation with the drugs and that means so much because it's easy to feel like I compromised or made a "weak" choice out of fear. But every time I think back to that horrible time when it was so bad and got so serious, I feel in my heart that I would make the same decision again. Thank you for your respect regarding the issue. I agree that everyone's experience is different and not every person's healing journey will be the same. It was actually a good learning experience because no matter how much I may have wanted to remain drug-free, my body wasn't agreeing with that wish. I was forced to be very honest with myself and and make the right decision at the time. My goal is to of course get off the drugs as soon as possible, but I'm tuning in and listening for the right timing.

I'm happy to report that I'm feeling much better emotionally from when I first wrote. The last few days I've really prayed and God has shown me a few things that I feel are directing me in my next steps for healing.

I know the root of my problem is stress and anxiety, and have been taking steps to change my lifestyle in that regard. But deep down I've realized that I haven't really explored working on the physical body much; massage, chiropractic, accupunture, etc. Mostly this has been due to the expense of all that and the fact that I'm not able to work right now. But I feel that if I sit down and talk with my mum, she will find a way to make it happen.

I happened to see a chiropractor for a consultation last night because of a complaint in my upper (and lower) right back and he explained to me how even some of my vertebrates being out of place, pinches the nerves that directly connect to the colon, stomach, etc. and create create serious symptoms in our body, like hearburn, acid reflux, and colitis. I knew that chiropractics could help with disease but for some reason it didn't really click with me before like it did last night. I've seen chiropractors many times in the past for minor complaints and I've always left feeling wonderful. I want to start seeing one more regularly and see if I notice a change in my body in regards to the Crohn's.

I've also been reading Dr. Colbert's book, "Deadly Emotions," (VERY interesting) which is all about the Mind/Body connection. He recommends getting a massage 1-2 times a week for people with serious diseases because it releases chemicals that send signals to encourage the body to relax and tell it to stop attacking itself as in the case with auto-immune diseases. He also says that the body can become very confused and get "stuck" in its attacks when the immune system is compromised for very long periods of time. We need to find ways to push it back in the right direction. And that really made sense to me because I feel like my body is just really CONFUSED right now for many different reasons. This was sort of a revelation for me and I think I need to do some serious work on just my body itself. I love getting massages but they are too few and far between to really make a difference from a "healing" aspect. I think I need to find a way to get on a regular schedule of these so that I CAN see real results.

I also feel compelled to try accupuncture- though I have had no experience in the past, so many people have asked me if I have tried it in regards to Crohn's. I've always been curious but again, it was the added expense that has deterred me when the "health" bills are already sky high. But on the other hand what is the price of my health, right? I could spend another year still no better if I don't try other options and that expense in itself could exceed the amount of any investment now that carries the hope of turning things around. You really start to learn things from a different perspective when you're faced with big "life" issues like this...

I feel that a "program" of sorts with these three things to start off (massage, chiropractic, and accupunture)- with the addition of the EFT DVD's that I need to start on to get my stress and anxiety under control could really be the missing link in the puzzle. Hopefully, it will get my immune system to "make a U-turn."

Thank you so much for your suggestions in regards to the supplements because they ARE driving me crazy. I was totally unaware that you could take the Healthy Trinity with food. That is a HUGE bonus right now. I usually only have about 2 bowel movements a day at this point so I think I might be a candidate. I'm so over measuring out all three bottles with three different spoons, so they don't touch each other, then mix, thenwash all three spoons, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat. I really need a better attitude about it. I'm getting bitter here! haha

I think I may hold off on the Oregano Oil for a little longer. I'm still unsure about it exacerbating things more right now. But I could change my mind next week. It makes total sense and I am really curious to try it but I'm not convinced it's the right time yet. I may change my mind next week though, who knows?

Would you recommend any other supplements for added immune support at this time? I still have not tried COQ10, and although I have taken fish oil in the past, I am not taking it now. I would rather not add more supplements if unnecessary because money is tight and I'm sick of supplements right now but certainly if it could help significantly, I will do it and do it happily.

I would really love it if you did have Jini read the post- I have such respect for her and am SO THANKFUL l to have found her book. It's hands down, the most thorough, extensive, informative book I have EVER read on Crohn's in the last 3 1/2 years. It gives such HOPE for us on so many levels. It's one thing to go through this thing and "live to tell the tale", but it's another to go through this hell and USE that experience for good in helping others.

So my deepest thanks, Jini. And my deepest thanks to you, Nicole, for being such a help on this forum and an encouragement to all. Hang in there, everyone!

One Love,

Tara
xoxo

Hey, I know the cost of acupuncture can be prohibitive so I wanted to give u some info on the folks I go to for acupuncture. They do something called community acupuncture and its only $15 an appointment for a professional acupuncturist. I have been going to one of these clinics for the past 2 years almost, and it really helps. It hasn't pushed me into remmission, but it really helps get me on track when I'm really off. Often, they want me to come in three or more times a week and even let me pay less than $15 so that I can feel better. I believe the website to find a local clinic for your area is communityacupuncturenetwork.org but you may just want to google those words.

You guys are fabulous. The support is much appreciated.

Thank you selah, for the tip on the accupuncture. I looked up the site, but the closest center is a bit far from my area and the money spent driving there several times a week with gas sky high would negate any savings from the treatment. But it's a good site to watch in case any centers open up closer to me. It is daunting how much money one can spend to find healing so every little bit helps! The place I found is somewhat reasonable because it is partly a school, but the lady treating me is a teacher there...

Angela, thank you for your help as well. You are exactly right about the cycle of stress, exhaustion, recuperation, etc. I am very thankful to have such a supportive family as they are taking care of all my needs as I'm able to NOT work and concentrate on getting well. I still am part owner of a business with my cousins, but I'm able to do any work at home and at my own pace. The only issue is that in the past 8 months we've had some transitional periods with our business, and since I do all of the administrative stuff, I've been working from home far too much than I should because there really is no other person who can do it. But I'm happy to report that as of this week, we are OUT of that transitional period and things should be a lot smoother now so I can really BACK OFF and get well.
The idea of living with my parents at 28 doesn't exactly make me feel like the most accomplished person in the world, but I have to be kind to myself and understand that this is how it is right now, and be grateful for the time spent with them. They are wonderful people. But I do feel unnecessary guilt for feeling like a "freeloader" of sorts. I know this is not the case at all but I still feel guilty about it. It's an emotional quirk.

Which is WHY, I'm also eager to start learning my EFT because I really think this can help. I know that stress is my problem but I don't necessarily know how to cope or eliminate it. I'm very obsessive compulsive in personality and little by little I'm learning to let go and not sweat the small stuff. I feel the EFT is really going to help give me specific methods to address my stress and anxiety.

I'm happy to report that I had my first accupuncture session today and it was SOOOO interesting. I really enjoyed it. I came away feeling super-calm and deeply RELAXED for the first time in forever. It was like being on a drug, without the drug! I was so like, ZEN about everything and when a thought came up that may have caused anxiety only an hour before, the same thought floated by and I was like, "Okay. Whatever. Everything's coooool." I felt like I smoked a joint! haha I thought, "If I can continue feeling like this more often, I KNOW my brain will get the message of healing." When I got home, I actually had a couple of bills to pay for the business and it's hard to explain, but I was able to do it SO calmly and nonchalant that it was weird I wasn't reacting in the "normal" way for me, which would have involved some anxiety and resentment. I thought it may have been my imagination, or the fact that I'm really tired today, but even my mum noticed a difference. She said, "I didn't wanna say anything at first, but when I walked in the door and I was talking to you from the other room I was watching you and you were so like, CALM! Your energy in there (the office) was SO different, and I thought- if this is what accupuncture can do for her- I'm all on board!"

The accupuncturist also recommended a therapy called NAET which I can see has been discussed a little before, but not to much extent. It's based on the idea that the body can become very sensitive to different energies and may cause an "allergy" so to speak in the body. You test for the allergy and then clear each one separately. It seems like it can take a long time but if you tack the treatment onto the accupunture the cost is cheaper. After reading the literature I am inclined to try this- we actually did the first treatment today along with the accupunture. It was really very interesting. I will let you know what my experience is with it since we all need to share our experiences and new therapies.

In addition, I went to the chiropractor and was really surprised to see that an X-Ray revealed that my neck (along with other areas) is EXTREMELY misaligned, which has created subluxations which pinches the nerves leading to major organs (including the colon) and blocks the energy from flowing through. Your neck is supposed to curve on way, but mine curves the complete opposite! I also had/have minor scoliosis so my spine tends to get misaligned somewhat easily. My chiropractor has started me on a healing regimen for that as well which should put things back into place and allow my nerves to travel freely! I left his office today feeling great!

Lastly, I'll add some massage therapy and I think I will be well armed in this fight again. I feel very good in my spirit about all of this and I think I'm headed in the right direction. It's a relief to have some hope again!

I'll hang in there on the supplements- I know they are good for me- I just need to change my attitude and actually it hasn't bothered me as much the last few days. I'm still contemplating adding some things in the mix like COQ10 or fish oil. I think I'm going to make the switch to the Healthy Trinity as well since I'm not having diarrhea at this time.

I would love to do a consult with Jini at some point too. But I feel I may be on the right track for a bit here, so I'll try this first and see what happens...

Thanks guys, for all your help. It means the world. Love and health to all!


One Love,

Tara
xoxo

Yes, Angela- you are right. I guess that's what mum's are for! Thank heaven for mums right? (And dads, too! I'm sorry about the response from your husband at the time. That had to be so difficult. I can't imagine being that sick and then having someone who's supposed to be there, "in sickness and in health" just abandon you. I'm so sorry. I'm glad though, that your family stepped in and you were taken care of as you needed to be.
I know what you mean about being relieved when you were admitted to the hospital. I remember feeling that way the first time I went in- you just get so exhausted that you're happy to have people take over and step in for you. It's like "intervention". The only problem is you REALLY have to be your own advocate in the hospital because they'll kill you if you don't keep a close eye on them!

I'll keep y'all updated. Here's to health!

One Love,

Tara

Tara,

I am really touched by your original post. Although you were writing about yourself, it sounded so much like me. I guess it's oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only one.

The DAMN prednisone, the measuring of the probiotics, the bleeding, the hospital visits, the clueless doctors, the moon face, the hateful attitude, the high medical bills... on and on and on. It was just really strange how much it was like reading about me... I am sure others found it that way too.

I would like to make a suggestion. Go slow. This thread is full of great ideas of all sorts of ideas for you to try etc. If you're body is like mine, it is beat up and tired. It cannot take alot of change all at once.

Whenever I get sick, I think of 100 billion things that I could do differently and I usually try to do all of them :S. More supplements, read LYTG (again), more exercise, more of this, less of that.... I believe that when my body is sick, the best thing to do is to examine all of the things that you could do differently and pick the top 1 or 2 and do them. Trying to change too many things all at once is too hard physically. Also, by changing more than one thing at a time, one cannot tell which items are working and which are not...

Just an idea.
Ed

Hey, Tara.

What great advice everyone gave you!

Another thing you may find helpful for your back is Yamuna Body Rolling. I try to do the back routine every day and find it extremely restful and rejuvenating. (Also, once you have the ball and a DVD to show you how to do it, that's all the expense there is - but it's like a mini chiropractic and massage session all in one that you can do on your own.)

If you're interested, you can read more about it at:

http://www.yamunabodyrolling.com/

Warmly,
Nicole